To My Dad

It has been three days, and I still can’t bring myself to say the words,
all I feel is pain moving through me in waves, crushing, breathless, unrelenting,
and every thought returns to you.

It is impossible to imagine I can exist in a world without you in it,
that I will never again return home to be greeted by you,
with the sparkle of devotion in your beautiful eyes,
calling me by no other name but ljubavi (my love).

Moj tata (my dad).
A man of few, carefully chosen words,
brilliant and grounded, compassionate and curious,
the biggest dreamer I have ever known.
A man of depth, quiet conviction,
and love that needed little declaration.

You moved through life with an unwavering steadiness,
guided by duty, dignity, and integrity,
clear in what was right, certain in what mattered.
That’s why you worked for almost seventy years,
a leader when your country needed one,
and an entrepreneur later in life,
showing us all that it is never too late to pursue another dream.

In a world so often willing to bend its values, you never wavered from yours.
You lived with a rare simplicity, so grounded in what was right
that the path always remained clear.
Your kindness was quiet, your generosity boundless.
You helped anyone who crossed your path,
never speaking of it, never needing praise,
simply living your values,
the embodiment of love in action, loyal, steady, certain.

And though you wore your seriousness like a best-cut suit,
underneath was the softest of hearts, one that carried us all.
It is that heart that shaped me and guided me,
teaching me empathy, humility, tenderness.

In the last two years of your life, as illness softened you even more,
you began to understand how short and precious it all was,
how quickly it moved,
and I got to know your playfulness, your joy,
how music reached where words could not.

Even in my heartbreak, your love steadies me,
a quiet resolve not to waste a single moment,
to stay with what cannot be changed,
to love without needing to hold,
to let grief crack me open so that light can take deeper root.

It is unbearable to say goodbye, so I won’t.
You will live in the spaces between words,
in every act of quiet generosity,
in every stroke of a brush,
in the pulse of courage it takes to imagine and work for a more just world.

You may be gone, but your love remains,
my grounding, my compass, my wings.

Thank you for giving me this life.
Thank you for loving me.
Thank you for teaching me how to be a parent and a human, that I am.

I will love you forever,
and whatever is done by only me
is your doing, my darling.